I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
