First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
