my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize