It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
