yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
