i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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