U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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