you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
