i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize