every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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