guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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