I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
