you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
