she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
