he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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