I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
