John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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