Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
