You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
