i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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