I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize