just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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