whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
