It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
