but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
