Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
