There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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