i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
