Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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