I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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