The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
