just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
