new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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