names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
