it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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