So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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