I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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