I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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