If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
