Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
