Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
