I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
