he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
