im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
