I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
