Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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