just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize