dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
