Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
