well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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