You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
