So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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