how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
