I love black thongs
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Randomize
