No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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