so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You can't just leave with hair like that
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
