If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
