I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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