It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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