I just saw a hot homeless man
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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