U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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