It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
