my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
