You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
