I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
