What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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