So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize